Two Years of Faithfulness

Two years ago today I left Chicago and made the long drive to my new home, Colorado Springs. I was so happy. I was full of so much hope for the future and so excited about the journey I was about to embark on. Little did I know I was about to enter the hardest years of my life and it would be rocked by events several times. But I survived and I grew a lot. And now it's been two years. Has it really only been two years? But then at the same time I can't believe it's ALREADY been two years.

As I think back over my time here in the Springs the phrase that comes back to mind again and again is ..... God is faithful. As I think about all the ways He has been to me over the past two years I am overwhelmed with thankfulness. In this time I have experienced the deepest depression, the deepest pain and the deepest loneliness I ever have in my life. There were times I didn't know how I was going to survive. I didn't know how I was going to make it. There were times that I felt so incredible alone in this journey and I had no one to turn. And while I felt the deep abandonment by the person who was the reason I moved that first year and while my heart was laying in pieces once again by a different man who made many promises but failed to keep any of them.....I felt God whisper to me over and over "It'll be okay. I will never leave you".

And He didn't. I still have the same strong sense that I am suppose to be here that I had driving in that car from Chicago. Why? I don't know. But what I do know is that I work for an amazing organization with amazing people. I am so thankful for that. I go to an incredible church that is my nitch and feels like home. That I get to work with an incredible student ministry and love my young people to bits. That slowly my community is growing here and God is providing people when I need them. Sure, it's not what I would want it to be and it's not like college but he provides what I need when I need. Not more and not less. I have the opportunity to start grad school this fall and have several friends from college who are all starting with me. How can I complain? When I look around me and around this world and see so much pain and hurt.....I realize how little mine is in comparison. That despite it all... I am blessed.

I've learned to live on day at a time. To not be seeking for the next adventure but to look for the adventure that is in today. I've learned (and am still learning) that nothing compares to my relationship with the Lord. That everyone else will disappoint and leave me. But through thick and thin God has and always will be there. There is a song that I've been hearing a lot lately that sums up perfectly what I've been learning the past two years.

Forever Reign by Hillsong

You are good you are good

When there's nothing good in me

You are love you are love

On display for all to see

You are light you are light

When the darkness closes in

You are hope you are hope

You have covered all my sin

You are peace you are peace

Whom my fear in crippling

You are true you are true

Ever in my wandering

You are joy you are joy

You're the reason that i sing

You are life you are life

In you death has lost its sting

Oh I'm running to your arms

I'm running to your arms

The riches of your love will always be enough

Nothing compares to your embrace

Light of the world forever reign

You are more you are more

Than my words will ever say

You are lord you are lord

All creation will proclaim

You are here you are here

In your presence I'm made whole

You are god you are god

Of all else I'm letting go

Hallelujah forever

All the glory forever

All the praise to you

My heart will sing

No other name

Jesus Jesus

As each day goes by I learn more and more how He is the only thing that will satisfy my thirsty soul. And some days I learn that the easy way by speaking it and believing it and other days I learn it the hard way by experiencing how other things/people/events don't satisfy.

I don't know why God has brought me here and I don't understand why my journey has become what it has. But what I trust is that God's plan for me is better than anything I could come up with on my own. And that because of these past two years I am stronger person, my faith is deeper and my love for the Lord is greater. And that, my friends, is priceless. :)

So, how much longer will I be living in Colorado? Who knows. I'm here today and probably tomorrow too but beyond that.........wait and see.