By Your Side

The last couple of days have been kinda rough. Frustrated and disapointed with myself, frustrated that life doesn't seem to make sense and I dont understand what God is doing. Frustrated with the struggles that I have and wondering where in the world is the Lord in the midst of all of it. It's the same cycles. The same frustrations. The same questions. It's these times when I want to toss it all to the wind, when I want to give up but at the same time know I wont.

It's that struggle of KNOWING that God is enough and all you need and actually BELIEVING it. Why is there such a misconnect there? Why does head and heart knowledge not automatically connect?! Life would be so much easier!

BUT THEN I get so frustrated with myself because in the bigger picture of the world.... my issues, my struggles, my frustrations are so incredibly small and stupid. Look at the whats going on in Japan or any third world country......my problems are nothing. Then why can't I just let them go?

This morning this song came on my ipod......and I cried.....why is it so easy to forget who we should run to first, who should hold our hearts, who will always be there?

   By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life