Passion2012: DO SOMETHING NOW!

Passion 2012 is currently happening (if you don't know what that is, check it out here) and I've had the opportunity to listen to some of the main sessions via their live stream.

I get shivers as I listen to the worship as I'm hearing thousands and thousands of 20-somethings worshipping the Lord and having their hearts being renewed, inspired and changed.

Yesterday's afternoon session left me.....well let me share with you what I came away thinking about.....

The woman who spoke, Christine Caine, was specifically speaking about sex trafficking and the darkness and pain in our world. She pointed out if you take away a name and face and just put statistic than it's easy to ignore suffering. This is why the Nazi's tattooed numbers, numbers dehumanized. Is it more powerful when we see large statistics of number of girls who are sex trafficked or when you hear and see one story, a story that has a name and face? What is our reaction when that happens? What are we suppose to do?

Christine talked about the story in the Bible about the good Samaritan and shared how it shows how we are called to react.

"the Samaritan had compassion and so he went"

Is it compassion when we hear the stories to get emotional and sad? Is it compassion when I sit there, crying my eyes out as I hear the story of an abused and broken girl? Not really.

"the Samaritan had compassion and so he went"

HE WENT. He didn't just sit there and cry. He didn't just sit there and ponder the darkness of the situation. HE WENT. He didn't just sit there and pray. It's not really compassion until you cross the street and DO SOMETHING. Until you become actively involved and allow your life to be interrupted.

We have been given hope. So many people in this world don't know the hope that I do. We have hope, we have been saved by grace. But we have been saved by grace FOR A PURPOSE. We are to be moved by compassion and be sent out to a lost and broken world to bring hope and restoration.

There are people all over the world, our country, our city, our neighborhood who are bound and captive. Maybe it's the extreme of sex trafficking or slavery but maybe it's drugs, it's the alcohol, it's an abusive relationship......whatever it is......what would happen if we raised our voices and did something?! Could we possibly be a generation that could help bring freedom, life, mercy, justice, truth to a lost generation?!?

Towards the end of her talk, Christine shared a story about her involvement in rescuing girls from sex trafficking. She was in a shelter and there was a girl who had just been rescued across the room who yelled at Christine why did she come? Christine told this rescued girl about this God in heaven that loves her, that Jesus healed Christine, and had freed her and God could do that for this rescued girl too. That God has a plan/purpose/destiny for her life and Jesus could redeem her and give her a future for her past. The rescued girl yelled across the shelter,

 "If what you are telling me about your God is true, if this is true about your God, THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU COME SOONER?!?!"

One word. HAUNTING.

What is it in our temporal lives that is so important that takes us away from the eternal purpose that we are here for? What is more important than people?

Safety? Comfort? Money? Security?

"Security is not the goal of Christianity......freedom is"

Jesus set us free to send us into a dark and dying world to bring freedom.

I think it scares us. Scares up to give up the security that our American life holds for us. Scared that would will God actually ask of us if we fully and completely surrender to the Lord?! Scared about the darkness that is in the world. Scared about how it could affect our lives and shake us up. But why? Why are we so scared? We don't need to fear what he defeated.

Christine ended her talk with the story of taking her daughter to go get a flashlight. And her daughter tried to turn the flashlight on in the store but because it was so light in there.....obviously you couldn't see the light. Christine's daughter turned to her and said, "mommy...can we please go find some darkness"

Out of the mouths of babes. How do we expect the light of Christ to shine in us in a lighted room? we don't need to fear it. Light works best in darkness. We need to take the light of Christ into a dark and dying world. How will they ever know if we don't do something?! Now?!

"Surely God wants to use rescued people to rescue people"

We have been rescued. When someone is saved and rescued from a dark prison do they just stay silent? Do they just keep calm about where they come from and what they have come into? NO! So, why do we?! Why do we stay in our little comfortable, middle-class, Christian American lives and act like God approves of our mediocre Christianity?!

If you call yourself a believer, a follower of Christ.....YOU ARE NOT YOU OWN....your life needs to be about being the light in the darkness.

Do something now.

What is God calling you, calling me, to do? How does He want to use my gifts and talents to make a difference in my world? Jesus has sent me, and you, to to bring life and liberty. We have been set free and rescued to do the same to others. Not to just live in our little "Christian 'bless me' clubs".

I feel God has been doing a lot in my heart the past week in regards to thinking about my future, my destination and how the choices I'm making influence the destination I'm headed towards.

(There will be a blog all about this in future days, I'm sure.)

Is it a coincidence that I heard all this the day before I have my first interview with the international guys of Young Life? Is it just by chance that I heard this when it speaks DIRECTLY to the fears and concerns I've had in me, regarding doing international ministry again?

HECK NO!

I know it was God telling me to stop thinking about me, about my future, about my comfort.It was God reminding me that there are hurting young people in this world that need to be told and shown His love. That there are dark places where these youth are and dark things that they are getting involved in that will just keep leading them further and further away from a loving and gracious God who wants nothing more than to be in relationship with them. And it is the call on my life to be a light to these people. It is the call on my life to love students. To love the trouble ones, to love the lost and dark ones, to love those who are pursuing the Lord, to walk that journey with them, to be Jesus to them, to be an example of a person changed by home, to be an example of someone who's been rescued and to be a light in the dark.

What that EXACTLY looks like? I don't know. But I've started on the journey of discovery it.

This is my "do something now".

Year of Hope to the Year of Joy

Hello 2012, welcome to my world.

Last year the word Hope was my word for the year. It it absolutly incredible to sit here a year later and think about all the ways that word impacted my life this year. Hope will forever be one of my favorite words. There is so much promise, so much anticipation, so much heartache and so much longing in that four letter word. I learned how important it is to allow yourself to feel the weight of the hope and the desires you have. That my hope for things must be brought under the banner of God's plans and control. That I need to trust Him with my hope. And to understand that hoping can bring pain. That your heart may ache the more you hope but that it isn't a bad thing. That it is actually suffering that can produce even more hope. It was a word I needed to focus on last year. I needed to find the hope in my life. I needed to find the source of my hope and how that can complete me. And I did.

I thought a lot about my word for this year. And the word I've chosen is Joy. It's something that towards the last half of this year I've been thinking a lot about. Joy. What does it look like to be someone who is joyful at all times, in all circumstances, not matter what is coming or going in life? I want to be that type of person. I want to be someone who understands what the joy of the Lord is and how it looks in daily life. So, here we go. On the journey of joy. Watch this space.

I've excited for this year. I'm excited to go to Florida in a few weeks and see one of my soul friends. I'm excited for my work conference and the refreshing time that I know it will be. I'm excited to watch the continual process of pursuing international staff and seeing what God does in that.

Hopefully, I'll blog more this year too. haha. Don't hold your breath for that one!

Goodbye 2011

I sat in my room earlier today with my journal on the my lap and my pen in my hand. I was ready to reflect on this past year. I was ready to deal with, what I thought would be, pondering on the difficult year. But, at the end I was surprised at what I realized about my 2011. Why is it so easy for us to remember the tough times but yet we forget the good ones along the way? While there were struggles and difficult times, I was overwhelmed by the amount of blessing that this past year has held. I am so thankful that 2011 was not like 2010. I am thankful that 2011 held so much hope and taught me so much what really hoping means. The following are some key aspects of my past year that I want to share with you. Some of these are happy, some of them are hard and painful but yet all of them had lessons for me to learn and because of that I am thankful.

This year the journey continued with the process of my heart regarding my ex boyfriend. I was still dealing with the pain and the hurt while attempting to grieve the loss of dreams. It all came to a head this past summer which you can read about here and I feel like it was a downhill journey from there. I can, finally, honestly say that I am no longer bitter or angry. I had the opportunity to see him a couple of days ago. It was good to see him, it was good to tell him that I was no longer angry. It was good for me to wish him the best to his face and deeply mean it. But it was hard. It was hard to see a man I loved not really seeking the Lord and making choices in his life that will affect him forever. I want more for him. I want more out of life for him. I want him to be able to rise up and become the man that I see the potential for. But, this won't happen until he fully surrenders to the Lord. And I pray for that for him. A lot. I wish I could be a constant in his life, I wish I could be involved and be someone who can encourage him to seek the Lord. But I can't. I may not be angry or bitter and I may genienly wish him well. But that doesn't change the fact that he represents lost dreams to me. He represents the lack of companionship in my life. He represents the loss dream of being married by now. And because of that......I can't really stay in touch with him. So, I've let him go. Maybe 2010 was about falling out of love with him and 2011 was about learning to let him go. Completely.

This year I learned a lot about loneliness. It's hard and I made a lot of choices I am not proud of. But through them I learned more about the grace of God and how it is new every morning. You can go here and read some of my thoughts on this earlier this year. How no matter what I do or where I go......God is always there waiting for me. I am so thankful for his patience with me as I repeatedly made the same choices over and over. And thankful for His faithfulness when I finally did start making the right choices and being able to experience and see why His plans are better and more satisfying.

Today I realized how much this year that God has provided me with people and community here in Colorado. It's not the type of community I would ideally like to have and I think I've taken the people for granted all year. I work with great people and have enjoyed relationships growing there. I got to know an amazing woman of God who I have the priveledge of labeling as my mentor now. I met some amazing girls who are now some of my closest friends here. My relationship continues to grow with the Huttos who have become my family here and where I can go and sit on their couch, not say anything and have that be okay. I'm thankful. Thankful for people who love and care about me here.

Africa. Africa was huge this year. It stirred up my heart for international ministry again. It started the journy of pursuing going back overseas. You can read here and here about some of that journey.

Finally......this year has been focused around hope but I'll talk a bit more about that tomorrow! 

Happy New Year people!

Holding My Breath.

Application sent.

References given out.

Waiting on references to come back to have my phone interview.

Flight book to Atlanta in February for a required weekend that is apart of the application process.

I took the step and moved forward with the international staff process.

I knew I was suppose to. I just was struggling internally with giving up the security I currently have in life.

Do I really want to do this? Go overseas again? Start over somewhere again?

It's going to be hard. But hasn't here been hard too?

The decision was about surrender.

It was a question of who does my life really belong to?

Me or the Lord?

We both know the answer to that.

So the application was sent.

I "randomly" met Craig who leads up Young Life in Northern Ireland a couple of weeks ago.

He gave me his card and was very insistent I get in touch with him.

We're gonna meet up at ASC in January and talk more.

Could it possibly be that the call I felt on my life in July 2001 still stands today?

Could it be I'll be going back to Northern Ireland?

Did the Lord have to take me completely away from that desire so that I would engage with the present?

So, I would allow myself to fall in love with a boy that would lead me to moving to Colorado?

That would lead me to working for Young Life?

That would lead me experiencing the deepest pain and darkest season of my life?

That would lead me to experience God's grace, compassion, patience, faithfulness in a way I never had?

That would lead me to start over and to learn to live in each day and wrestle through the day to day?
That would lead me to where I am today....learning to seek God in each day, learning to be full of joy and gratitude that leads to contentment, learning to love those young people who I have the pleasure to be apart of their lives, to trust that God gives me what I need and not what I want, to learn to love those around me without expectation and to hope completely and fully in the Lord.

I found this quote and fits so well with my life. God knows what He's doing. He always has. I've been reflecting a lot on the past several years and finally am starting to understand. I am starting to see how my life the past couple of years has been preparing me for something bigger. That I need to go through all the crap to develop me. To be someone who can forgive more, understand pain, love deeper and trust God when my world is falling completely apart.

I feel like I'm holding my breath. Is this season over? This season of waiting? Of wondering why I came to Colorado? I don't know but I do know one thing.....

It is an awesome feeling finally starting to see what your heart kept choosing to trust, that God is faithful and His plan is bigger than your own.

Drowning

Please. Not again.

Yup again. That same feeling of helplessness, of frustration, of desertion, of loneliness.

I feel like I'm struggling to stay above the water.

These are never good season for me.

Where is this this anxious, panic feeling I have coming from?

I'm so exhausted of this cycle. This vicious, vicious cycle.

Lord, where are you? Why? I'm not asking you to change things, I'm just asking you to show up and help me in the here and now! Where are you?!

If you are reading this, pray for me. Please. Pray that I will run to the arms of my Lord because right now all I feel like doing is pushing him away because that's what I feel like he's done to me.

Thoughts on Hope

It's snowing. Today, I feel like we went from summer to winter and skipped fall. I love fall. It may be my favorite season and today I'm saddened by the skipping of it. But the snow is beautiful and has put me in a mood where I don't want to leave the house (not feeling the greatest is playing a part in that too) which then has put me in a bit of a reflective and blogging mood.

I've been thinking a lot about hope lately. HA! What am I talking about...I've been thinking about hope all year. It was the word that I choose for this year. (read more about that at an earlier post...Thoughts on 2010). It's been a theme that keeps coming up again and again without me even trying! I finally finished reading the Allure of Hope that I talked about earlier and already feel the need to reread it again. It's easier to not engage with my desires, to not engage with the longings, to stifle them down and to distract myself. But that's not living. That is just surviving and existing and sometimes that is all one can do. I've been there but it should be only a season and not a way of life.
"Our desire for more (the very thing that got us in trouble) becomes the place through which God finds our hearts. He turns our desire on its head to reveal to us that everything we want as women is found in Him. All we can be as women is found in Him." That is where my hope lies. In the place where I enter into the depths of my heart and express the desires that lie there. The desire to be loved, to love, to share life with someone, to make a difference in this world, to be working a job that makes my heart come alive and to be a woman that loves the Lord with all her heart no matter her circumstances. And maybe it's that last one that God is perfecting in me. But I will keep engaging with my desires, keep clinging to hope and trusting that God hears, listens and cares. Because if I don't, it's like I'm committing soul suicide. Hope.

I have seriously been thinking lately of getting a tattoo on my wrist that says hope. As a symbol and reminder to myself to keep hoping. To keep feeling the weight of the desire of the things I hope for Though a friend of mine told me that getting a word tattoo on my wrist is such a Christian clique and kind of made me super sad about it. I don't want to be clique. There is reason and meaning behind why I want to do it. Hope beyond my circumstances. Hope that God is going to do something with my life. Hope that God is going to meet me right where I am. Hope that He will use everything in my past and future to bring Him glory and be used in other people's lives. Hope that I can continue to trust this statement in the moments when I mess up. "God seems to be more concerned with our trust that we're being led somewhere, that He is taking us somewhere because of His love for us, then He is concerned with a flawless record along the way." I am being led somewhere, sometimes it's just not where I think I want to be or in the timing I want.

<-------- I have to remember this in those times I think that I can't keep going. In those times that I wonder why does my life have to be like this. And I am SO thankful those days are much more few and far between than they were two years ago or even a year ago. It's funny cause a number of people have called me strong the past couple of years and I laugh. Strong? ha. It's cause I've had no choice but to be and it hasn't been in my own strength. I refuse to let hard circumstance determine how I feel about my life. And if God thinks I can handle this life He's blessed me with.....well then who am I to argue?

Africa. Finally.

Below is the follow up letter that I wrote to my supporters about my trip to Africa this past summer! I always have good intentions of writing about it in here but as the weeks move on I'm afraid I won't so let me share at least this with you

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                                                                                                                              September 2011

Dear Friends and Family,

First, let me apologize that it has taken me so long to update you all on my trip from this past summer! I’m not sure where the last six weeks have gone, but better late than never, right? J

On July 5, 2011, at 3:45 a.m., I was standing outside waiting for my ride to meet the team at church and head to the airport. For years I have dreamed of going to Africa and experiencing God in that culture. My adventure to Africa was about to begin. It felt surreal.

Our first couple of days in Africa was spent in Johannesburg (commonly referred to as Joberg) visiting Woodmen’s sister church, Mosaiek, and several ministries that we help support. One of these ministries is a community center called Emthonjeni. This center is within one of the squatter camps in Joburg. When Apartheid ended, the government sectioned off land plots for 400 families, or about 2000 people, to live in. Currently, more than 75,000 people are occupying these 400 plots in this particular camp. I could go on and on about the issues within this community, but I’ll just say that the poverty is overwhelming and heartbreaking. There is no electricity, no running water, and bathrooms are overflowing outhouses. But, Emthonjeni is the little light of hope that shines in this community. There is a preschool, a senior citizen program, trade schools, and an antenatal clinic that is all made available to the people of this squatter camp. It was amazing to see, just in the one morning we were there, how God was using Emthonjeni to reach and minister to the poor.  Woodmen Valley Chapel played a huge part in establishing this center and I am so thankful that I am a part of a church that has a heart to help ministries like this one. 

We also spent some time visiting a couple of other ministries, sightseeing, petting baby lion cubs, and wandering around botanic gardens before we made our six hour bus ride to Swaziland.  Let me first say this about Swaziland; it is beautiful! It is basically in the middle of South Africa and surrounded by mountains. I felt the shift from urban city culture to rural African desert as we went across the border and customs. The more we drove into the heart of Swazi, the more desperation and poverty became apparent. Billboards you saw along the road were no longer similar to what we have in American, or like in Joburg, but were signs that advocated monogamy being a way to help contain the HIV/AIDS infection rate. We stayed in a primitive, but cozy team house during our time there, and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. We cooked our own food, dealt with huge spiders, and had cold showers that sometimes ran out of water as you were all soaped up in them. We had the honor and privilege of meeting an incredible family who were our missionary hosts for the week, Eric, and his wife, Jen, and their children, Claire and Jake. They oversee our Carepoint, as well as nine other ones.

Most of our week was spent hanging out at our Carepoint. We played with kids, sang songs, did crafts, skits, games, and just were present in their lives. We would start off with maybe 20 preschool age children and, once the older ones got out of school, we would have close to 100 children running around on some days. There were also a number of women who would just come and observe from the side. One day we spent part of the day clearing some of the land and creating a soccer field and a netball field for the kids to play in. We also did an afternoon of a “shoe store,” where we were able to give away 300+ donated shoes we had brought with us.

We didn’t know which kids had parents or which ones where on their own. You could usually tell which were better taken care of based on their clothes and how dirty they were. I loved hanging out with the kids. They were all just so desperate for attention. There were days where my entire day was just spent holding toddlers. This one in particular that grabbed my heart. I never knew her name but held her numerous times. When this picture was taken, I remember praying for her and just wondering what her life was going to turn out like, as well as the difference in opportunities that she has in front of her compared to the ones I had in front of me.

Baby no pants..hiding like normal

Let me share with you a story about “baby no pants.” This was the nickname that we so lovingly bestowed upon him as the first day he showed up, he had no pants on. There was something about this little boy, who was no more than two years old that just broke my heart. If any of us came near him, he started screaming and would run behind one of the other kids and hide his face. And I don’t mean just a little crying, but I mean absolutely shrieking. At first we just thought he was scared of white people, but he did the same thing when any adult would come near him. I couldn’t help but wonder what had been done to this child to make him so scared of those who should be the ones loving him and taking care of him. I decided to make it my goal to become his friend. Sadly, that never fully happened, but I did get closer than I thought I would. The next day, we were playing with small beach balls and he was standing on the outside of the fence just watching. I picked up a ball and walked towards him. His eyes got wide as I came closer and closer, but yet, he didn’t move. I was about 15 feet away from him when I stopped, crouched down, and held the ball out to him and waited. He starred at me, trying to decide if he could trust me. He slowly walked towards me, and as soon as he snatched the ball out of my hands, he ran around me to the other kids. I just smiled and stood up and was hit with an analogy of that moment. That’s what God does with His love for us. He doesn’t force it, but stands there holding it out to us, waiting for us to come and get it. He’s so patient with us, just like I had to be with waiting for “baby no pants” to get the ball. And sometimes when we grab His love, we then run the other direction because it scares us. Yet, I think God does the same thing I did. He smiles and shakes his head slightly at us because He knows that there is nothing to be scared of, but yet he doesn’t push. He continues to wait and be patient.

Another story I want to share is about the home visit I got to go on. Every day some of the team went to a home, taking food to some of the neediest in the area. The day I went, we went to visit a woman who was in her 80s and has no family left. She lived in a nice hut compared to some of the others, but her son, who built the hut for her, died very soon after. She is alone and elderly. She had such a smile on her face, though, when we met her. She was sitting on the ground as we gave the food gift to her and explained that this was from God to her, and that God loves her and hasn’t forgotten her. She immediately crawled on to her knees, started crying a little bit, and raised her hands in praise. I couldn’t understand what she as saying, but I understood that she was overwhelmed with thankfulness to the Lord for remembering her. It was maybe one of the most moving moments there for me. This woman was so thankful for such little things, and instead of being mad at God for the situation she was in, she was praising him for remembering her. I got the chance to pray over her and then we said our good-byes. Everyone else was shaking hands with her and as I got closer I just wanted to hug this woman, so hug her I did. She giggled, gave me a good squeeze back, and said thank you in English. It is a moment and a memory I will never forget.

On one of our last days there, we got the opportunity to help with a medical clinic for the community. And the best way for me to explain this day is to put in what I wrote for our team blog that night….

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TESTING DAY

On Friday we got the opportunity to partner with the Luke Commission that goes all around Swaziland holding medical clinics. I was very impressed with the organization and what they are attempting to do in this country. They have a strong desire to not only give medical treatment and HIV testing, but to build relationships and trust with the people they are serving. It was a really emotional day for a lot of the team and God gave us all more of a glimpse into the way that this country is hurting. But, I really loved watching the way that God broke so many of our hearts that day. There were many tears shed for the Swazi people and I, of course, was no exception. The following is what I wrote in my journal that night.

It’s almost like I don’t even want to take the time to process and think about today with fear that it will leave me undone. HIV is so real and alive here. It’s been easy for me to forget that when I’m just hanging out at the Carepoint and loving on kids. But today I couldn’t run from the fact that it is and will continue to impact the lives of the children I’ve been holding all week. The moment (out-it) really slapped me in the face was when I was in the testing room. In this room we were testing people’s blood pressure, insulin levels, and for HIV. People would get tested and the results would go to the doctor in the next room who would go over them with the patients. I was mostly observing and helping a little with the HIV tests. It was hard to see people come in, be tested, and then see their results even before they did. I didn’t realize how hard it was about to be as in walks in a little boy I held forever the other day at the Carepoint. He came in with his mom and his tiny sister who I also recognized.



The two little ones who's mom was being tested



I sat there waiting to get the stick that would show the results in minutes and put it in the box for the doctor in the next room. I held my breath as I watched and waited. And then I saw it, two little lines on that stick, positive for HIV. My heart dropped and tears started forming in my eyes. Yes, all the other positive ones that I could put with faces I saw today were sad and broke my heart. But this one was different for me. It was personal. I knew that little boy. I took pictures of that little boy. I hugged and loved on that little boy. And this little boy’s mom just found out she has HIV. He’s not any older than four. It was heart shattering. How would I feel being that boy? Who possibly is so young that he won’t understand? Or that mom, who now knows that she has an incurable disease that will kill her? This then made EVERY positive result more heart shattering for me as I realized that they all are someone to someone. I may not know to whom they are important, but they are all someone’s mom, dad, daughter, son, grandma or grandpa.

I hated that this is only a small glimpse into the epidemic here. I hated seeing it. How many people went home today sad and depressed because we told them they have HIV? But I can’t let myself go in that direction because the God I serve is bigger. He is bigger than this disease and loves these people with an intense passion. And while some people went home today with sad results, they also now have medication that will give them the chance to prolong their lives for the person they are a “somebody” too. God gave me a bit more of His heart today for the HIV stricken people of Swaziland.

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We got to be a part of the first church service at our Carepoint. The day we arrived there, we were informed that they had finally found a pastor and would be able to start their church. It was incredible to experience worshiping God with another culture and in another language. It’s so easy sometimes to forget that God isn’t “American,” but that He is cross-cultural and so much bigger than I can even imagine! Leaving Swazi was hard because I knew I was about to head home to my comfortable life, while the children I had held and played with continue to live in poverty and deal with the HIV/AIDs pandemic.

Thankfully, before heading back to the states, we had two nights at a Christian retreat center to give us some time to reflect and have down time before the intense travel back. During this time, we had the opportunity to go on a safari game drive in Kruger National Park in South Africa. It was an incredible experience of getting to see the African wildlife in its own turf.

But can I be honest? At the end of my trip I was disappointed. I wanted my life to be absolutely turned upside down; I wanted to be completely messed up and undone. And I wasn’t. Yes, so many things I saw touched me, and yes, the trip did change me in many ways, but I thought I would have the same emotional reaction to things like I did the first time I went to Northern Ireland. I felt bad and guilty that it didn’t happen. What I realized after I got back is that I shouldn’t have expected my 27 year old self to experience things like I did when I was 17. That’s ten years of life experience that was filled with international travel, ministry, and education! Duh! Of course it’s not going to affect me the same. So, the question now is how did it affect me? How did it change me? How am I going to take the things I saw and experienced and learn from them? I’m not even sure I know the answers to that now even though it’s been 6 weeks! I do think I’m more grateful for things like hot showers and that I have a job to go to. But, it’s also so easy to get back into the swing of life here and take them for granted again.



Kids eating at the CarePoint



One of the biggest things I walked away from Africa with was the intense desire to do cross cultural ministry again. I miss it and being there stirred up the desire to serve the Lord overseas again.  I’ve had a heart for missions for a long time, and it’s kind of surreal to feel like God’s leading me to pursue that desire again. Since I’ve been home, I’ve been praying a lot about this and have randomly been making connections with people that could help push this forward for me to go international again. Just this past week, I spoke with Young Life’s international recruiter about the process of applying and being on international staff. Maybe so much of the past couple of years has been about setting me up with the right organization and the right people support before I could do missions again. Pray for me in this as I start to move forward and seek God on if this is what he’s calling me to do!

I hope you enjoyed reading this long letter and got a little glimpse of what my trip was like. Thank you so much for your support as I could never have gone without you. J



Notice her shirt! She was a favorite!